Backup Challenge 3: House Sit

This challenge is courtesy of...

Alana and Gregor McKay.

The challenge

House sit. Given Alana and Gregor suggested this challenge, then led with this message...


I'm going to say that this counts as whatever is involved in house sitting.

Now, you might say that I'm just saying that to get an easy challenge completion and that Alana and Gregor are just saying that to get an easy agreement to a pet sitting favour, but you, while a lovely, intelligent and sexy person, are not doing forty stupid things before you turn forty, so I'm going tosay that you, fictional reader, can fuck off.

Anyway, challenge accepted!

The first thing you need to know is that absolutely no pets died in the making of this blog.

The second thing you need to know is that chickens are remarkably hard to spot when they're hiding in a bush, but we're getting ahead of ourselves...

Cats

Cats are easy to look after, even Braille, who is not allowed out on account of being blind. Fortunately, blind cats are not the speediest escape artists in the world, so I was able to get in to the house, feed the cat and the fish and get out again without incident.

Andrew 1 - Pets 0
Fish

You feed them too much, they die.  You feed them too little, they die. You feed them the right amount, but bang on the tank and give them a shock, they die. Somehow, I avoided committing any of these errors and no fish were floating upside down by the end of my tenure as their custodian.

Andrew 2 - Pets 0
Pheasants and worms

Not really pets. Fling food on the grass and squirt water into a bottle.  Not keeping score on these ones.

Chickens

The chooks were a little more involved to deal with. There's the whole "able to fly" thing for starters, plus the "getting eaten by foxes if left out at night" and "clucking aggressively at youthful helpers" aspects. (Although to hear Nash tell it, a ninja chicken with a deathwish leapt into the air, landed on her shoulder and attempted to peck her head off. I would charitably interpret this as "a chicken looked at me funny then pecked my shoe".) Anyway, you feed them, you collect the eggs, you make sure none of them escape.

You look back to see the rooster, Scoot, strutting about the garden, noticeably not in his cage...

The thing about chickens is that they are, well, chicken.  This makes it hard to recapture them, especially a rooster who doesn't like to be touched.  The children and I spent a good five minutes trying, and failing, to get Scoot back into his cage.  Eventually, we had to stop because a) he was thoroughly ensconced in a bramble patch and b) Sephie had done a poo.

The other thing about chickens is that they are surprisingly curious about toddlers getting their nappies changed.

Scoot, having removed himself from the brambles, then went and hung out near, but not actually in the coop. Despite the best efforts of myself and the kids, Scoot remained aloof and uncaged. Then for some reason known only to their tiny chicken minds, all the hens inside the coop decided to head on up to a different corner, allowing me to open the coop and hold the door for Scoot.  After a moment, he strutted back inside like that was always his plan. I exited, quick sharp, mercifully unaccompanied by chickens.

Andrew 3 - Pets 0
Then we ate their unborn young in revenge.

Mmmmmmm...
Challenge complete!





Will I be doing it again?

Sure.  The eggs were tasty and the following days, after the great Scoot escape, were easy.

Long-term updates

French words "learned" (according to the memrise app): 611.
 
Daily photos taken? Yes.
 
Swordfighting learnt: None this week.
 
I am currently reading:  Delusions Of Gender by Cordelia Fine.

"Cheat" days on food since last week: None.
"Cheat" days on exercise: All of them! Mwhahahaha... No, wait, I did go swimming on Saturday.
Favourite drawing: Just doodles this week.

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